Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
