We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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