I love black thongs
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
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either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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