everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
