You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize