i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
