We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Do vagina's smell?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
PANTIES FOUND
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
