we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
