The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
