when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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