tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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