i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize