just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
