i was born a porn star she said
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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