mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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