We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
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It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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