is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
