with your own penis?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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