he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
