you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
