guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
