well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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