yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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