loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
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