you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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