Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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