I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
