He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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