i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
