i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
