he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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