I think scott just propositioned me for sex
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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