Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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