do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i came on her dog
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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