If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
