i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
