im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
