that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Terrible idea I love it
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize