apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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