why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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