absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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