the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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