batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
