Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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