I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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