I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
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The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
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My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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