so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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