Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
