I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
