When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
