Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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