I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize