Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
