never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
