Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
