and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
