Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
