thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
