can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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