the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
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I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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