you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
