I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
