More tranny stories later!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
