***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
